My aunt and I have always been close. She’s been apart my life through every hardship. We’ve laughed, joked, and mourned together. I’m her only niece and she always goes above and beyond to help me if she can. Sure we argue. She doesn’t agree with my view of gender and believes that gay people control Hollywood. So yeah we argue about some things. But she’s always been supportive of me so a few months ago I decided that I would tell her I like girls. At first I was choked up whenever I tried or it didn’t felt like a bad time. Until two weeks ago when in her car I just said it. She is the first family member I’ve told and she reacted how I expected her too. She was shocked than she cried. We were driving for a while so we had time to talk.
She thinks it’s cuz of the things my cousin did when I was 8. I don’t know if that’s 100 percent true cuz I know I liked thinking about girls kissing at 8 but I also know that after him the idea of a man touching me made me uncomfortable. As I got older it just felt weird or on good days nothing. At twelve I started getting mouthy with my grandma’s husband. I hated him so much. He was an abusive, cheating asshole who made her life a roller-coaster of misery and he didn’t help my view of men improve. Soooo maybe she was right idk.
She’s hoping that in a few years I’ll meet a good guy and I won’t feel this way anymore. I don’t have the heart tell her that it might not happen.
She says she wants nieces and nephews and had to explain to her that I still want kids. And that no matter what that will happen for me. She wants me to atleast try with a man. I told her I would. Then she told me about the Bible obviously but she mainly said that I was young and that things change. There was a lot to talk about and I asked her if she still loved me and she said yes and she just doesn’t what this for me.
I don’t know what to do with that.